right now

right now
I am with, yet without another breathing existence in my room.
right now
my luggages are unpacked, bed is made, books are placed on the shelf

right now
I want to take a nap...
Poured out things I stored for the past 3 weeks while I was in hospital. Things unsaid, letter unburned, tears un-shed...

right now
I am empty... Like a a child with spotless memories of pain.

right now
F5, pressed. Here I go again.
With nothing, yet eager to reclaim everything that should be mine, and would be mine

I am not unhappy
And I am happy about it.

.......................................

I do miss home, and mom.
I think of her every now and then... It was just yesterday she still hugged me in her arms, and we talked for hours and hours about ridiculous stuffs, from boys to toys and of course serious plan like my future.
I know i will be happy and loved. For she believes in me, I believe in myself. When all things fall apart, I know she will be there, standing with her warm smile and her gentle eyes. Not lending me a hand, she will watch me rebuilding my shattered paradise, for she knows I can do it, with my tiny childish hands.

.......................................

right now
I am breathing.

.......................................

Shouldn't we feel glad?
And appreciate this chance to live?
Even if there is no tomorrow, I am still grateful for the hours left, today.

.......................................

About me
I am smiling.