Running away, I've tried
10 countries and 32 cities in one summer
Countless of people I met. Countless of faces I observed. Countless of names I whispered - just so I can drown away the thought of you.
Countless of adventures I embarked, who can count the number of miles I walked by? The vast sky and oceans I crossed - just so I wouldn't find the compass of my heart pointing your way.
I know they won't work, they didn't last because I have tried. Eventually, it happened this way. After a summer, we met - a brief embrace that lasts no longer than 3 second. . . I am back to the vulnerable girl, whose heart longs to you.
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Your image was imprinted in my brain like a tattoo. And even when I close my eyes, trying to put my longing to rest, all I could see is you. I could not put it into words - this strange emotion that drives me off the edge on a regular basis. Until now, I am still wondering how this all happened, how I ended up here at this moment in time - entrapped in my own misery of an unrequited love.
Your paths collide at the wrong time in my life. I know it will never be right. I know I have broken so many rules (silly rules I created for myself, to govern my heart) because of you.
You are oblivious to the point of cruelty. . . and I am paralyzed here in this mess of self-created drama not knowing where to go next, what to do next. There is no future for us, you don't love me, not to mention love me enough to rewrite our destinies for one another. I wonder why oh why, I long for someone I cannot have, I should not have.
I am not searching for an answer - for I know it does not matter. One morning I wake up, the idea of us will fade. I will vaguely remember the pain that seems to be killing me today. One morning I wake up, and us
us
we are already history . . .
