I played the scenario for a thousand times in my head but at the very end, I blanked out. I could not utter the question I had rehearsed for a million times. I blamed it on your eyes and the way you smiled.
- play, replay, pause, continue - never once fast forward. I sat back in a corner of my room watching the memory like a short movie. 30 seconds? Maybe less. I wish we meant what we said and we could say what we meant. But in the end, all I could remember was how your smile faded and how my heart shattered.
Good night, dear and safe trip - to the place your heart desired, to the Kingdom I could never be a part of. I will think fondly of us as I move on. I will think of us as I watch you from afar. To be able to laugh it off and call it a good joke tomorrow, tonight, I will have to pick up all the fragments of my broken shell.
I was grateful for every single minute I had spent with you.
and I will be grateful for the future we chose to have... everything less than I desire, but everything more than I could ever ask for...
Good night.
