when i'm with you

Saw you walk in to the room

Thought i'd try to talk to you

Babe am i every glad you wanted me too

Its been two years to the day

half the time I've been away

i know I'm not there enough

but that is gonna change

cause I'm coming back

to show you that

I'm keeping the promise that i made

when i'm with you

I'll make every second count

cause i miss you, 

whenever your not around

when i kiss you

i still get butterflies

years from now

i'll make every second count

yeah we've had our ups and downs

but we've always worked them out

babe am i ever glad we got this far now

still i'm lying here tonight

wishing i was by your side

cause when i'm not there enough

nothing feels right

so i'm coming back to show you that I'll love you the rest of my life

when i'm with you

I'll make every second count

cause i miss you, 

whenever your not around

when i kiss you

i still get butterflies

years from now

i'll make every second count

whatever it takes

im not gonna break the promise i made

when i'm with you

I'll make every second count

cause i miss you

when i'm with you

I'll make every second count

cause i miss you, 

whenever your not around

when i kiss you

i still get butterflies

years from now

i'll make every second count

when i'm with you

when i'm with you

when i'm with you

when i'm with you

...all right

I woke up early in the morning, just to feel the sense of peace and relief sink deep into me, to my every cell. I am aware that I am alive and everything wrong, finally, indeed, is gonna be alright. Hi there new day, hi there holiday... hi there another challenge and hi there Hanoi, I am coming home soon.

Yesterday
I held my breath... unable to breath when I dialed my close friends' numbers yesterday, I was scared, of losing them, losing any of them. My batch mates, Innovians, Indonesians, Malaysian, Philippina, Thai and Vietnamese, they have been amazing. They have accepted me and my weird sadistic nature, the irritating sarcasm coming out from pure unintention... Not all, not all people in this world are able to reply my harsh comment with sparling laugters like Fanie, like Cindy... Not every one can hit me or even slap so hard to bring me back to my mean self in time of need so that I can repress my feeling and show my strong self.... at the same time, hold me close to let me cry when all those strangers whose only intent is to bring me down leave... Not everyone, but Christin can, and I admire her for all that, all the strength and pride that she puts upfront, on the other hand, the sincere friendship the care and love she hides behind al the scoldings... I thank you, all of you for all that u have done.. all the night you were awake to help me with Student Council campaign, all te birthday parties that we threw... we laughed together... and that special night, when 4 of us, walking in the rain... so much laughter so much freedom
For the first time, in a long while, I found my youthful not bitter not precaucious self... And all of that, was because of you guys.

Today
I breath in and hi there, everything is gonna be all right. I am waiting for Christin and Michelle to confirm the day they can go to Vietnam to visit me.. and Ruam, my dearest Ruam, though she is longer here, suffering the weird rainny weather of Singapore, I believe she is having a great time in Thailand... See you soon, dear, in the land I was born... in the center of my heart.

too many plan and the grad nite preparation is indeed driving me insane, yet when I think I have so many people around me, pushing me through. like liyanto, like JQ, like the 4th council.. I smile... Gonna meet Ferina in a few hours and everthing is all right

for us

Out of nothing

I have always wanted to bring you alive, through... a picture, an art piece. I tried to draw u.

Out of my dreams, my imagination, my heart and soul, my memories... my insanity and madness...

Out of all that are unreal and impossible, out of all those struggle and tears and fear and anger and sadness...

Out of love and despair

I tried to create a you that belong to me, and only me...
A you that only I know, out of memories that only I possessed

and I failed, so many times... cuz whatever I do, I know, I can't bring you alive, out of the paper, cannot warm those ice cold hands, cannot gaze upon those beautiful eyes, which have already shut eternally...

One night, I woke up and felt the unbearable urge to do something for us, not for u or me, but for us...


and maybe... sometime... there is only one thing left to say

I love you
love you till the end

come september

Her bones will ache

Her mouth will shake

And as the passion dies

Her magic heart will break

She'll fly to France

Cause there's no chance

No hope for Cinderella

Come September

Everything wrong

Gonna be alright

Come September

Her violet sky

Will need to cry

Cause if it doesn rain

Then everything will die

She needs to heal

She needs to feel

Something more than tender

Come September

Everything wrong

Gonna be alright

Come September

The souls that burn

Will twist and turn and find-

you in the dark

No matter where you run

She's made her mark

But lost her spark

And what she's pushing for

She can't remember

Everything wrong

Gonna be alright

Come September

Her eyes surrender, her cry a-

crying shame

Coming undone is she ever gonna-

feel the same

She will run

She's gonna drink the sun

Shining just for you

Instead of everyone

And so it goes

She'll stand alone

And try not to remember

Come September

Everything Wrong

Gonna be alright

Come September

sometime...

missing simply means you have already forgotten half

while

forgetting indeed hides a sky of longing for the past

sometime...

crying simply shows half of the pain on the surface

while

smiling indeed hides an ocean of frozen heartache

sometime...

loving someone only means you are half close to his heart

while

eternal separation... fills us with eternal loving

I miss you

but everything wrong

will be alright

come september

Tegar

come September... come come autumn... come come tears falling down like yellow leaves... come come exams... and a new day begins

with RUam

someone I can trust

Someone I can run to

with whom I can truly be... myself

(even when I am lost, I know she will find me, she will ALWAYS find me)


we eat from the same plates... share food... get fat together... laugh at each other's joke
cry over each others' tear

RUam & RAchel
2005-2006-2007-2008 and many years to come...

Thank you for who you are... simple as that, thank you, for whom I have become, because of your love for me, your kindness and foolishness. I dont believe in forever, nor do I think there is anything eternal when it's so hard to trust..., but for once, you give me belief in destiny and true friendship... thank you ^^

"Lucky"

I came across this song a few days back and immediately I smile, silly smile, smile of someone who thinks she knows better but she doesn't. I guess it's the smile of happiness, thinking of two particular love birds whose smile I could hardly stand (too cute to look away, yet I am too proper to keep my stare and admire the pure sincerity and happiness) So I sms the guy, 'cuz his gf has a good habit of losing her dear phone, up to a point, I have 3 numbers with the same name, none of which works... sigh. 

Hey there, yes, 2 of you, this song is tailor-made for you. I like it much and much more cuz it constantly reminds me of you. I wonder if you two enjoy this type of old-generation music, no Avril, no Simple Plan, haha, no screaming yearning... but yet, bear with me, this chilling and ... just happy, simple yet so happy song is a beautiful ending I hope to see you in.

LUCKY

by Jason Mraz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nR1kx0v53HM

Duong:

Do you hear me, 

I'm talking to you 

Across the water across the deep blue ocean 

Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying 

Rep:

Boy I hear you in my dreams 

I feel your whisper across the sea 

I keep you with me in my heart 

You make it easier when life gets hard 

Both:

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend 

Lucky to have been where I have been 

Lucky to be coming home again 

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 

Either (suit both)

They don't know how long it takes 

Waiting for a love like this 

Every time we say goodbye 

I wish we had one more kiss 

I'll wait for you I promise you, I will 

Duong:

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend 

Lucky to have been where I have been 

Lucky to be coming home again 

Lucky we're in love every way 

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed 

Lucky to be coming home someday 

Duong:

And so I'm sailing through the sea 

To an island where we'll meet 

You'll hear the music fill the air 

I'll put a flower in your hair 

Rep:

though the breezes through trees 

Move so pretty you're all I see 

As the world keeps spinning round 

You hold me right here right now 

Both:

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend 

Lucky to have been where I have been 

Lucky to be coming home again 

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 

Monkey in the strange, absurd land:

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 

Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Dear you,

I could not help but smiling and wish the second verse of this song will come true to you one day, of course I do think of the absurd coconut and the 2 of you running around it like any typical Bollywood movie... I mean, a day when you can be together. I understand it's extremely hard, to love someone so much, yet unable to cross the streets, walk the distance to touch your lover's hand, or simply hear her laugh, see the pinky blush color on her cheek. 

So I write this to you, inspired by this particular song that truly touch my heart (words of wisdom? no, take it as a few lines from someone who cares, who believes, who loves and believe she knows what love truly is about). Just so every time you feel beaten by prejudice, gossip and rumor, every single time you feel like letting go. Remember this, from me. I do save a space in my heart for you and you. Not shown, yet I care. I do

You are lucky, very lucky to have found each other and fall in love, to have touch the other person's heart and soul. How odd can that be? 2 years knowing one another, without recognizing he/she is the ONE for me. So lucky to be in love with someone who understands and cares, to be in love with your best friend. How odd can that be? 2 single souls in the world wide... like two tiny fish in the vast ocean. So congratulation, like finding your treasure, hold it close.

They really are clueless, absolutely no idea, how happy, bubbly it is to be in love and of course, they don't know how hard you guys are going through. And they don't deserve to know it, take it easy, dear, there are so much more objections, obstacles along the way. I don't wonder if you can make it, I believe if you really want it, and as long as you still have the other person's image engrave in your heart... one fine morning, you will wake up knowing this is the happy ending and a beautiful beginning

So, don't let go, ok? Not without a fight, and a good fine fight. 'Cuz when you look back, the winning battle is always sweeter. I wish you all the best

For Duong: lol in plain English, you are my true younger brother and thx for everything you have felt for me, as a non-related sister. I could not ask for more. Keep your passion flaming, keep your desire restless, and your dreams high. I am, a click away, a phone call. You will never, have to get depressed alone (my offer, your choice to press the button and we can talk ^^, craps or business)

For Rep: He is coming home. Take a deep breath, and think of him, when you open your eyes, his hands are within your reach. Alert me which street you two are crossing, 'cuz it's too embarrassing for me not to stare haha, at two smiling idiots who I love. Keep him wanting to go home, ok? You have a choice, to be unhappy and think "Damn another day WITHOUT Duong" OR smile and think "YAY, one day less to the moment we meet again" Keep yourself safe and sound. For a better day.

Long winded me should ends here before I sound like a good old whiny grand ma. May my blessing come to you, and btw, no need to shout each other name like the song... M1 cannot send your love, I am aware, lol. Why don't you deliver it, personally?

Chi Linh

p/S: this is NOT in my Vietnamese blog for one good reason, I dont want my uncles and aunts who constantly read my blog, to misunderstand and misinterpret anything... GOsh, how much trouble blog gave me, yet, the idea of sharing, passing the passion and love keeps me on. Take care. 

Ngay lang thang

Hey Fer, how I miss u, from my heart and soul. I do think about u dearly and wish u all the best

Hey roommate, how are u doing? Over there, in McNair. The laundry rox, I know. Still remember our 6 bed-room, whining u and me, being mean to u, as usual as always, Putu, deary Putu who cooks weird food every now and then, and Lintang... gosh that girl and her cute curly hair, smiling, making noodles, tricking me to play the SIM which she failed miserably, quiet Trace and haha, amazingly neat Dhea. Miss us? Miss u and me? : 'Cuz I do, a lot. I nearly cried when I hear u, over the phone : "I miss you, noone is mean to me here" Oh gosh, my big pink loser, my Fer, I do pray ever day that no one in this world (apart from me, lol) is mean to u, and u are treated as u deserved, are loved because of your outstanding personality (which is forever blur and kind)

Ngay Lang Thang is what I always call days walking around with you, taking pictures of Singapore. Small city, small country but how beautiful it can be, if we do look, closely with an open heart. I love Singapore more because of you, of knowing it more and seeing it through in the eyes of an artist.

.

may happiness surround u
may u always smile like this
may more wandering days come along
may we stay true and keep our friendship, forever

take care
and all the best for ur ASEAN DANCE performance

This is LOVE

this is love...

this is accepting our lover's short coming

and love him still

this is reaching for your love

not being afraid you are slowing her down

this is love

trusting and moving together,

 same pace

 same road

 same

what is that?

little affection? blow up till you get dizzy

That wasn't love

what is that?

demanding and questioning? till you exhaust yourselves him

That wasn't love

just thinking

are we in love? were we in love?

when you let go, of ourselves?

give me a chance to love everything about you, your pain, your happiness, your childishness, your smile, your tears... give me a chance to show you I can and I am delighted to take care of you, even if, the clock is ticking and you were moving away from me, to the darkness of life, the twilight of life, merging to another world...

one more time

If I could hold you one more time
Like in the days when you were mine
I'd look at you till I was blind
So you would stay
I'd say a prayer each time you smiled
Cradle the moments like a child
I'd stop the world if only I could
hold you one more time

"I'd look at you till I was blind
would you stay?"

I know you can't. 

and it's ok.

but I know I can't.

stop thinking about u and smile

calling out your name silently, and have sparkling eyes.

and it's not

not ok'

gone

I just saw this picture online and fell for it almost immediately.

"I know that you are really gone"

One of my friends dashed into my room last night with tears filled her eyes. Something happened, Sad things happened. She did not use tissues but towel to stop drops and drops of crystal clears water falling down. Literally, of course. I did not venture to understand the full length of the story... Does it matter? To me? Not quite, 'cuz the onlything that made me worried was HER, crying not the juicy story which anyone can turn into rumor and gossip

we are old enough to understand where to stop, and the boundaries of privacy.

Her love is gone. Thinking of the idea, ...gone... and its layers of complications. As I hugged her to calm her down, I found myself sobbing in side, but the brave front ME, stood strong. We, after all are flesh and bones, weak and structured, all in one. She said she could never make it through, and that she would not be able to stand on her own...Her love was her world. And now everything collapses right in front of her naked eyes

I smiled

Knowing what she was experiencing would give her a precious lesson. Like a journey, she was pushed down from the feverish train of love, left walking bare feet to get out of the Wood of Misery. Hunger, Crave for love, crave for a touch, an answer, a reason. Thirst, long for care, long to get something she thought she owns to be back in her hand. Before she knew it, the pain and the exhaustion has already soaked into her mind. Like poison, like perfume, it lingers, it stays. What can not kill us, will only make us stronger. I know she will soon find out her inner strength. Something I fought for life, to help people around me realize. We, all, can stand strong on our own.

Dear, it hurts, I know, all the trees, branches and thorn i the mistery forest poked your body, scratched your skin... But dance, girls, Dance like the little mermaid ... Dance your way out, find your decision, find your strength. Dane your way out

I hate the idea of being dependent on someone or something

Just a relection, I always love self reflections, asking myself what if I was in her shoes. I was, not what if, but I was. My love was gone. not just love, friendship, things that do not work out. Devastated, I was. But every day when I wake up and find myself breathing, smelling, seeing the world as per normal, I smiled. I am alright. And I moved on, away from all unhappiness. I know I have a CHOICE, to react, to give the final answer. And for crying out loud, I am not gonna choose to let things bring me down

Her case was different. The person is still there, just love has gone away. For me, he passed away, leaving a sky of love on my shoulder, filled my heart. What to say? I watched her sleeping like a baby on my bed while I was struggling with my school work. This is my life... I love it. I thought of my mother, my Ruam, my Indora, they were in my position now and I was in my friend's. We change role in life, dont we? So I have grown up and learn something out of it.... Then it will be her turn... one day, to tell another girl that, everything will be alright.

I am at school now, blogging... Hoping that someone out there may read this message of a heart to a heart... Dont take it too hard on yourself... Dont. It doesnt worth it, we have to move on.

Love, I know that you are really gone. I came into term with it, bit by bit everyday. I doing fab. That's why you love me, not anyone else, cuz through the rain... I see rainbow.

let go

April

Without my notice, April suddenly slipped in, replaced March one fine morning. I guess the whole idea of replacement still hit me badly whenever I came to think about it. All most everything can be replaced and will be replaced in the matter of time. Love, friendship... Even just yesterday we still vowed to be together forever, that our hands would not part, "I will always be there for you", it hurts knowing one day, the person we say all these lies to will not be the same one we did in the past. I believe we did not mean to lie. It just happened. People walked away, people passed away... Yes, March went away, without kissing goodbye.

I was just too engaged with my work that I forgot.
April fool... In deed, yes, I was longing for it last year. His birthday, I prepared a present, my heart sang a little happy song. Today I sat quietly in class, counting the hours slipping away. He could have been 20, you know. We could have been celebrating... I guess, a lot of could have been, would have done, must have been... blah blah blah. But it is death we are talking about. It is not as if he chose to leave, or another way round

So April came, April is here. Just like the reality. I cannot afford to day dream no more. In fact I did not even have much chance to do so in March. You know, JC life is tough. I talked to mom quietly at night, most of the time, half asleep, or just woke up preparing for a sleepless night doing school work. Noone has the right to judge my timing. I do what I neen to do, in time that I can arrange to do. Even if it is a history essay, started at 2 am and finished at 5, it is still my work and certainly, you have absolutely no right to question or comment. But I guess, everyone has the freedom of speech, of commenting, of saying what they think is right. So I take my choice, not to care. I am tired of making you happy, getting your approval. In the end, you will replace me as I perform the same act to you.

So the question is, what stands the test of time, of distance of fate? I believe in family relationship, between parents and child, between siblings and true friends. I have to mention Ruam and Indora who are still here for me up to now. I was so amazed at my own feeling just having a girl night out with Ruam. Here we go, I dont feel awkward, or question myself why the hell I was here, or realized the fact that I did not belong. I do not even have to try being someone I am not. Just me and her. Silly stories, nonsensical, you really dont know how much I need this kind of chilling out. So be it, I do not lock myself in but at the same time realize there is not a need for "socializing" that much. And Indora, the ayam still gives me strength just by her voice, We talk. We discuss, I cried, she laughs, how insane? But she keeps me sane, doing the right thing. And I need not say, I love them so much

How is my April going to be?

May time tell, I have work and plans in mind that I may not reveal until I succeed. But I will try hard, I am sure, I will try my very very best. At the end of the day, it is my own future, my happiness I am responsible for, and along with it, my parents'.

Dear friends,
Thx for reading these lines, written in the middle of my research. Thx for pasing by and actually care. How have you been? I dont blame you or neither do I blame myself if we have not been contacting each other for so long.
"happines is not enough for everybody to have, so dont blame when others forget"
I love this quote from a teen story. I gess, we all need to concentrate on own study, work and CCA now. If we are really friends, sooner or later we will reunite. If not, I am happy for we have found out replacement, new best friends, new gossip mates, a new person to accompany you when you are lost, a new friend to walk you home... I am grateful that you have that someone. 'Cuz as much as I want, far water cannot satisfy constant thirst. Just take the moments we had together as good memories I will cherish as long as I live.
Take care, and shall we make our April meaningful?


Aril is always difficult to me. What a strange statement? If March was full love love and dreams, memories of hope... April hits hard as the cold reality, but it is neccessary that I have to come into terms with it. Accepting is not good enough, make the best of what I have left is much more important, and moved on. Someone I love much died on the 29th of this month. Mom said, 10 years, 20 years down the road I will not be able to forget him. Not forget, she told me, never forget him. For his memories somewhat made me who I am now. But not to dramatize the loss, or emphasize the pain. In the deafing silence, I know, she knows and we know

Quote from a movie "Sky of love"

Whatever happened, I still love the sky

Blue as it is, it is the color of hope, and dreams, Ad Astra, Innovians always say it, to the star.



(I miss you a little too much, but a little less, and a little more bearable as time goes by)

Cut

Cut

Just a fine line or may be more, may be many. Sometime it is unbearable to count the cuts

People do cut.

They cut papers, cut woods... cut to make full use of objects

People do cut

They cut the road, bridge the gap to come nearer to one another. They have to cut, to ease their anxiety. to shorten the time

People do cut

They cut cakes, cut cloths, cut cut cut to share... I give to you a piece of me. WE are on the same boat. Pieces, bits are token of friendship

People do cut

We do cut

We cut each other by all means. I am not talking about the bloody deed of stabbing using death instruments to physically torture human being but yet, I talk about cuts, whereby the defined line we draw between each other becomes clear. Cut of sepearation, cut of hurt using words.



I was cut, by an insane and vulnerable girl who was so helpless. Or rather the act should be described as hurting. I looked at her and what she did to me. She wished this sacrify could make an impact, not seeking attention but provoked thought. I looked at her and pitied the innosence, the good intention, which was wasted. The deafening silence between us is like an open wound. Who is she? Simply me. Of yesterday.

I start to think about cuts so much recentaly. The physical pain is short and compared to the emtional explosion of anger, it seems unremarkable. Open woud can close its mouth. Time does it job dutifully like a routine. Scars are left to remind us the past was real. I learn so much in the past few days, about hurting ourselves or so much more about unintentionally hurting those who actually care.





"Thingking can hurt your chances and I intend to last"

I remember this quote vividly in The Handmaid's Tale. And I remember my mother who told me, "when you hurt yourself, when you fall, when you love the wrong guy and eventually suffer from the relationship, you are putting an invisible cut on yourself. Blood bleed from thses wounds are not much of yours but much of mine." I think a lot of my mother and the way she lives her life. It hurts cuz the greatest gift she gave to me the day I was born was her sensitivity. She feels too much therefore I feel too much, care too much. And sometime, that kills your chances of lasting in this surrounding



So what is that suppose to do with cut?



We accidentally cut a deep line between us by slamming the door on our one another's face. The door is the cut. Now there is no more us, just u and your world. Me and my life.

We cut our friends by words, screaming, shouting, swearing saying things we do not mean to say (and we tend to do it more and more each day)

You cut me by hurting yourself. Crazy huh? What about me? I merely feel your pain. But what if I do? Your physial pain is my emtional defeat. I am helpless, unable to heal you, to stop you from hurting yourself.



My wound heals fast, my skin is thick and bold. But the bruise under it remained. and there is this invisible cut that left a scar on my heart.



You cut yourself hence you cut me. We cut each and every one of us out of the word US.

Where do we go from here?

Helpless

so I smile
and act alright...

...not the 1st time... nor the last, I am aware
I felt so helpless over what is happening, what is going to happen and what happened to my loved one. I wish I could travel through time... through distance to change things... or even if I can not make a difference, I wish to be there or had been there for them...

My mom was waiting outside the room for her operation this afternoon.
More than hours... on her own. Tired, exhausted, frightened... traumatized by the smell, the sight of the hospital...
And where was I? Singapore, in a nice class room...air condition...

I felt sick... frustrated...I want to know what was happening... where she was
But I can't. Ended up forcing myself to lessons, as usual, acted strong
When Kannan gave me the piece of work... full of words I could not bring myself to read and make sense to all those...letters? He looked at me, sympathized.
My heart was not there.
I dashed out of the classroom to make a call to dad.
Just to know mom was with the German doctor.

I asked myself and felt helpless

... where was I?

when my friend cut herself out of guilt, out of ridiculous crime she did not commit
when my best friend was told she has tumor, 18 years old, all alone in a foreign land
when he decided to leave the world, 19 years old

or just when my BPL needs a listening ear, need a friend, a simple question which show she is loved and cared.

Today when my mother had operation...
Where was I?

Forgive me, I am also all over the places. How I want to be with you but I fail you and I fail myself. I am doing the best I can

so I smile
act alright
when I am traumatized
say "it's gonna be fine"

I don't cry ... I know my mother will soon recover.
Hope she can see me with my new fringe, see me found my inspiration to study and passion for photography again.
I am helpless... I am aware, I am. But if the distance between us can me measured by ruler, if land can connect us to one another. I promise I will never leave your side, maybe not physically but mentally.

I am here
with arms open
I am here
without judgment
I am here
...for u

Lullaby for mom

sleep tight, will you, I am singing for u...
from a far far away land, I am singing the lullaby of my heart for you

sweet dreams, mother....
May the stars in the sky dim their lights
May darkness come, enveloping you, like a blanket
May the pain sleep... may the torture stop

Dream, mother, dream about us...
Dream about the colorful Hanoi in spring
Dream about the crowded streets during peek hour
Dream about days when you held my tiny hands, crossing the street to school
Mother now I am taking MRT, all on my own
I often overslept and missed the station
Mom, dont stop dreaming...

Please, time, stop for a while
Let my mom's hands rest... stop sewing, stop knitting, stop...
Let my mom's eyes stop searching for my image... I am not coming home any soon
Let my mom fly... in her dreams

Because of her... I forget all reasons to cry
forget anger, forget revenge, forget lies
forget myself

My blood bleeds from her heart,
My tears flows from her eyes
My pain felt by her soul

Sleep, mom
When u wake up, ur pain will be just a nightmare
I am here, singing for u
my lullaby, from my heart, to yours
from my childhood
from my teenage
from every single second, I have you with me, always

...praying for the success of mom's operation

light...

I love playing with my camera, love capturing happiness, tears, unexpected rainbows, sudden rain... I love taking black and white pictures. The only type of phtos where the light actually stands out... It is not easy, actually, more difficult than talking color pictures... If there is no light... the photos are ruined. The stronger the light is, the better contrast I can achieve to bring about the beauty of the scenery.

Thic picture was taken back then in Winter, 2007, when I was in Vietnam, in a temple. I love the peacefulness. I could sit there and read for hours and hours, The world was moving so fast outside of the gate... I felt safe inside, calm. I captured, the moment when light entered the room, through wood doors. Sunshines warmed my cold cold skin. I open my hand, to fill it with the golden water of the sun



Since I came back to Singapore, I rarely went around to take pictures, evern pictures of myself. I became lazy. I told myself to... move my butt to go take some night pictures on my own... But I was sick, for a week, and now I still see no hope of recovery. I am sick of coughing, I would really cough till I tears. Helpless. and weak. I was in the Student Council room yesterday, happy to be with them... They, the gorgeous, enthusiastic people have the amazing power to make me feel... alive esp. in time when I cannot speak properly like this... I wanted to scream with them, cheer with them, laugh with them... but I could not. Sounds coming out of my mouth was awkward. Being with them, makes my gloomy day brighter... (esp. thx to Audrey-puff)

Then I wish for the light, one more time, again, to return in my palm, I wish for the health I had, the mother who was healthy to be by my side... And even now when she is sick and bed-ridden, I just want to have her here, now, with me...

Light, a amoment of peace, a moment of clarity a moent of truth... I found myself, opening my warm, welcoming the sunshine, filling up my emptiness...

... .... ... when will I be able to find, the passion I had, for photography...again?

INNOVA