I am sarcastic, I am rude, I am out of my bloody mind
According to them,
I am a mess in a dress, acting cool, as if everything is fine
According to them,
I am all wrong - they are all right, always right
According to them,
I can't be any worse
or any better
Nothing can be fixed
My case is closed
unable to salvage
No one ever bothers
...according to them
BUT
According to Iva,
I am hurtfully sweet,
I am straightforward
I am daring
I am kind
According to Iva,
I am not freaking mentally sick
I am just upset
things will be alright
According to Iva,
I am safe in her heart, and
she misses me a bit, every now and then
and a lot, every once in a while
'cuz
Iva was made out of sugar
and honey
and spring rain, falling softly on pink roses' petal
Everything is fab
according to Ivana,
my Ivana
Dear Iva,
Today, I receive your letter, another one which makes me scream like a freak, happy like a kid, smile like an idiot for the rest of my day, (and probably, week). Your letters have always been exceptionally sweet - I should stop using that particular word, but trust me, my poor vocab does not allow me to find something more precise.
Things aren't that great and I am not always secured. Little rumors can get me a tiny little bit down... Yet, as I sat in a Japanese Restaurant today, enjoying my green tea ice cream when the speaker suddenly played Mirotic, I laughed like a child again, wishing Iva were there. For a second, I was wondering what kind of chaos we both would create... Hyper and nuts screaming "under my skin"? Dancing on the table? Laughing a lot and crying just a bit 'cuz we both miss DBSK too much?
We both are helpless, aren't we? Then again, I am glad, I could really find someone who is sincerely crazy, absolutely emotional and nuts, just like me - we both aren't perfect, not even close. But together, things are so .. fine and right ^^ . I miss talking to Iva about JJ's one sided love (laugh) and speculate what is going on now behind DB's closed door, those kind of crazy imagination that only Iva would understand I not antis or dreamers, I am just... Linhieee. I hate this distance so much and hate the fact that I could not just be online and see Iva playing with her cat
Then again, through this, I learn, how much Iva means to me, Iva and Insa, and DBSK, and Love in the ice... and different time zones and ... all those private jokes shared among us, those Cassies whose home address is at the same CR, despite our locations in the world. I know I am not that wonderful and great, like what Iva aways thinks of me, but at the very least, I want to be better, to be the better person Iva looks at me and sees me through. So for all the things Iva said, and all the craps I have heard - just to put me down, I am glad, very very glad, there is still this tiny bit of happiness and rainbow in Czech who believes in me.
I should have written this letter in private... sealed it with a kiss ( laugh ) and pressed send with a smile. For once, I just want to "share (with) the world" this "unforgettable" and "beautiful thing", who is my "love in the ice": that I "miss you" with all my "heart, mind and soul" so much so "I can't put into words"
Really miss u, dear
Work hard, and score all the A, and 100% you deserve
I am really looking forward till our next "Insa"
Love,
Linhieee
