Monday, June 11, 2012

Where now?

Where now, Linhieee?

when you walk aimlessly for hours, not wanting to return to your hall - that place stores too many memories of the good old days, of love and something like love. You are scared of facing your residents, listening to the sound of them packing up, leaving this hall an empty soulless shell - seeing how amazing they have become, being proud that YES, you did play a part in their growth but YES, the time is up and you are bidding each and everyone of them goodbye.

Where now, Linhieee?

when you know it's time to leave, and that it was a job well done but the emptiness eats you up every single second you stare at that balcony, that table, that corner of the street you used to walk together. He's no longer yours to dream of - never yours indeed. Every morning you wake up - it gets harder and harder as you have to come to term with the fact that as the sun rises, your chance withers. As the supporting actress of the theater, your 3minutes 30 seconds is up so off you go. To the back stage, to the changing room where you shed your mask and return to life. But where to, when the audience are roaring with applause, the main leads embrace in a long deep, well-deserving kiss and you have to mute the deafening silent tears.

Where now, Linhieee?

when home isn't exactly the place you want to return, for the first time in your life. And honestly Denmark isn't the next exciting destination either.

Where now?Where are you going? Who's awaiting you? Who knows your pain and what you have been going through? Who sings "Cry on my shoulder" for you and fights your tears? Who now? Where now? What now?

No matter what, get the fck out of here first before you hurt yourself too much, before that scar runs deep, before your tears overflow . . .

One day you will give up being that super girl you are not. One day you will remind them that this girl's heart isn't made of steel, that it has been torn and right now, you are hurt.

One day - but not today.