for someone else

sometime, when I cannot have something... something great
sometime, when I cannot reach for something... something far away

I give my dream up for someone else
I give away this chance to experience love for others who have someone to love and to hold.

Just like that, I pray, one day I can cry out love in the middle of the the earth and he can hear me even in heaven.

I did not like hospitals. I do not like that particular place until now. But since I cannot take care of my grand mother who is old and weak, I volunteer to work in Alexandra hospital, to talk to other elderly, those who need accompany. Maybe somewhere at home, my grand mother will have someone young, some crazy twenty year old girl to lessen her loneliness. Since I could not take care of my own lover, I reminded my friends every now and then not to be selfish and give in to their bf more. I talk to them when they fight, try to be the bridge (and pray that they will build their relationship strong enough to close all gaps and discard this bridge asap for I am not that interested to stand in between). Since I could not do so much when I was young due to a lack of direction, I took internship as teacher. The money was the worst among all the jobs I was offered. I stayed back late after my classes just to talk to them. I wished someone could have told me all these things before... Since I did not have, I gave it to them now. Hopefully they can be better off

I wish I could do more for him. But he is no longer mine, maybe he is still, but only in my mind, I pass this love away to others, those in love, those who still have this precious chance to fight, to be angry at one another, to break up and make up again... Places that I kept as secret for us, unknown restaurants that I wanted to share with him... things that usually my friends would not notice, I do. Waited and waited for for him who could not meet me at the end of the road eventually. Shall I hold on to those little secrets? those precious secrets? Love is a funny thing... I treasured it, held it so close to my heart. It slipped away.

I could not do anything. Should I say sorry for even with that NOTHING I did, I did my best? Maybe not. Cuz we part out ways. I am walking in another direction today. Yet when I see things that I could have done, I would love to have done them yet unable to... I smile though feel something tearing inside... and give them all away the couple T-shirts, the address of that romantic places... well, you name it, you know me.

Since there is no more "him" to begin with, why should I be selfish and keep them for myself? While there are others who can be so happy - for my share of happiness?

Happiness is not enough for everyone to get... As I give up, one by one things that I want to do, objects that I want to possess... I wonder: what is left for me?






P/S:About the MV. Another Korean MV. I wanted to post something of DBSK.I had something in mind, but it is too heart breaking. Kiss Shita Mama, Sayonara. So I put this instead. Like one of the characters who could not give his sick girlfriend a good break out of the hospital before she died, he brought this stranger out... let her breath life... and dreamed that it was his girl friend he did this to. If we can turn back time? Would we? Could we?