Painted my nail Red

I painted my nails red
today
a gentle reminder - that
love hurts - that
somewhere deep down I
do bleed, when the awkward silence
sinks in


Weren't we supposed to be
better than this. No, I mean
much better than this. So that
after I said: "I love you" and you
replied with: "but I love someone else"
We can be sincerely happy for one another
and
both, move on to better places
and new things

But no! You returned to your old shell
the one I bled to crack open - I walked in the rain,
trying to wash away the stained blood so that
I
can return fresh and new.

So I painted my nails red today
so next time when you walk away
I will have the courage to tell you
Stop right there and say what cloud your mind...
Spit it out - try me! I can be hurt by words,
but I would rather words than the silence
treatment. It sends me STRAIGHT to the
loony bin, and I - I don't do well there.

We'll see how things go
but perhaps, I will cowardly dig those red nails deep
into my skin the next time we sit in silence - or
talk nonsense about things that do not matter,
just so when it bleeds, I won't know if it was my
blood, my heart
or the red red crimson red
nail polish...

that smells nasty.