I gave myself 12 minutes to grieve.
12 minutes
It isn't much, but it's 12 minutes to 2p.m. At 2, I will have an appointment, in which a smile is a requirement. So I'll give myself a good 12 minutes to let this emptiness sink into the endless depth of my pain. The clock is ticking and I know you have already left this town an hour ago. I just couldn't move from my seat. Literally and metaphorically, you came into my life with beautiful rainbow behind your smile. And I thought the storm had already passed. And I thought the rain had been over. But leave you must and you left early this afternoon, with no promise of any sort, shape or form. I am stuck in this deserted town with the cold rain and the fog. I understood your silence. I just could not let you go without waving goodbye and a farewell wish: "Safe trip!" I said. "Oh, Thank you!" you replied. Before I allowed myself to dwell a little longer into our brief goodbye, I ran away. The door shut behind my back and I knew I could no longer turn back.
You're gone
I wasn't brave enough. Maybe I'll never be. I will never be able to say the things I want to say. Your heart must have been made of steel, I believe. As I see mine crumbled and withered, I understood why I could never play the game.
It was just a joke...
on me
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