the Death of November

The Death of November

for you, who came with the rainbow 

thank you for a  year of learning together, and eventually growing apart. 

I am leaving. But no, I am not abandoning you. I am just not holding on to you anymore.

Why? Because it is emotionally exhausting; I am drained and dried up to the point where I find no strength to wait for something t
o happen anymore. And because I am also human, I can only go on - unappreciated, un-cared for, unrecognized for so long.

I was told love was supposed to be unconditional - well, not really! November is dying and I have come to the point where I am pretty certain you had already mastered the next level of forgetting my existence. It's not like it's a deliberate decision - I am not offended. Because it's you, because it's me, because it's my curse to accept and appreciate you the oblivious way that you are :) I am letting go. like returning a balloon to the sky, the dandelion to the wind.

At the end of this string, I feel weightless like I don't even know what I am holding on for anymore. Don't worry. I am not sad about the disappearance of "us" - I am just sad that I have become indifferent, up to the point I don't bother to pull the red string that once connected us, to confirm the other loose end.

If anything, please remember that I did all that I could - up to the point I could not anymore. The path we shared - I will always remember every step, every stone, every wild rose with thorn on the side walk. If anything, remember I once adored you, perhaps still, perhaps just not as much anymore.