... if I am right?

.: at the verge of my insanity :.

"Why do you always smile when your eyes tell me you don't even mean it?"
I remember this particular question he used to ask me...

I don't know, he always had the answers, for everything I wanted to know... He always knew me, even when I could not figure out myself... He ALWAYS knew...

But I can't possibly ask him, right? Whispering his name, just by whispering his name, which could always calm me down, no matter what, like a magic spell this simple action is not even an option. I shall keep my promise, how can I be possibly any more selfish, disturbing his eternal happiness with my misery. So I shall say another lie, which works magically to condition my brain: I do NOT miss the way he talked, I do NOT miss how he calmed me down, I do NOT miss how he made me feel, how being with him allowed me to be... who I really am.




I just want to know... if I am right...

I just want to know if I am right, displaying public confidence while fear runs deep under my vein.
Just want the answer to my thousand and one questions, which are cutting me open inside out


.................................................i am tired
and going insane.................