Sunday, April 25, 2010

Society.me_02

My-Linh.Phan


http://www.society.me/mylinh.phan

Q: I think you are very pretty! I mean some girls are pleasant to look at and that's why people says they are pretty. For you, you just look really unique and different:) I would say you are effortlessly pretty! And you write well! Is part of it due to the fact that you took Lit in JC? Lit is challenging for a Viet student studying in Singapore, don't you think :P?
Your question alone makes up to my very deprived list of compliment - jk, Thank you so much for such kind words and beautiful compliment.

Not many people regard me as "pretty" since I don't have symmetrical facial figures - which makes it really tough for me to have nice candid photos. It kinda hurts to hear people mocking me before. So I made a point to accept myself with my very long list of imperfections: (tilted chin, mismatched eyes, crocked teeth...) I am glad you like the way I look. I guess what my mother said was true, "You must like yourself first, before expecting others to like you" True smile isn't on the lips, but in the eyes.

It is true that Lit is very challenging, and even more for foreign students eps. the Viet because we do not use English as our mother tongue back then in our home country like the Philippines or the Malaysian. Taking Lit in JC was a huge challenge for me because I got continuous F9 back then in SCGS, and a B3 in O-Level. Still, I went for it because I really love the subject.

Lit in JC exposed me to some of the authors who changed my perspective of Literature and life, I must mention Margaret Atwood and the way she toys with diction, tense, devices. As much as I read, I learn. I am also very blessed to be guided by Ms. Josephine Lin. She corrects from my outrageous spelling to my clumsy attempts to write stylistic analysis. I really could not have a better teacher.

The way I write has been pretty much consistent since secondary school - if you read my Vietnamese blog in yahoo360. However, Lit in JC brings me up to another level of understanding what other people say, what they feel and what's the utmost concern hidden in the text. From understanding, I learn to express my thoughts in a better manner. So yes, my way of writing improved thanks to taking Lit in JC.

Lit is like a beautiful addiction to anyone who once has a taste... You just want more. I understand that it's challenging for Viet students, Thai students and many Indonesian students who do not attend international schools before. However, the hard work and the heart-work surely pays off. In the middle of my A-Level exam, I almost screamed in ecstasy as I finally understand the raw heartache the writer hides behind her outrageous statement. . . That kind of feeling... wow... really defines "ecstasy" to me, in a very healthy way ;)
Lit makes us beautiful inside out, makes us think twice before saying something unkind, makes our words from the heart twice as sharp ten times as painful and million times as heartwarming. I hope u will take Lit. Really hope u will explore its beauty.
Apr 20, 2010 08:05:52 AM EDT

Q: Are you a compulsive liar?
Yes, I am a liar. Plain truth. I am. But No, I am not compulsive. If I have to lie, it's really according to plan, well-thought with full script and there must really be some really good reasons to dignify my action. I hope this answer your question.
Apr 20, 2010 07:44:06 AM EDT

Q: Yo, u mention D-NA, aren't they just toooo cute? Do u think they will be the next DBSK?
YES, I mentioned D-NA, and NO, they are not "toooo cute". Maybe they are darn cute , but I never like "cute" guys so haha.... really not my thing 

And NO, I don't think they will be the "next DBSK" or "next Shinwa" or next anything. They should just be the 1st D-NA and I believe that's wonderful ENOUGH.

Many people would love to find substitute during the period of absence. :) no offence but I don't think it's love after all. If there is something that can replace ur love, I guess, it isn't love at all. For me, I am looking forward to bright future of D-NA, MBLAQ, BEAST, FCUZ... all the new boys band whom I never quite seem to remember their songs.

There is only one DBSK won't be a "next" won't be "another"
Apr 20, 2010 06:30:28 AM EDT

Q: You said u have a "travelling wishlist". What's your travelling wishlist like?
^^ It started in 2004 and changed every now and then. It started in Hanoi, then London/Oxford due to unfortunate circumstances, I was moved to Bath, where by fate, I met someone who connect me to the next link point: Milan, Italy. I made my dream come true by transiting Thailand then Rome - Perugia, never quite make it to Milan till now, but I passed through 9 other cities in Italy, almost got to Spain but missed it 

So there u see my EU dream list... However, it was postponed due to my 4 years in Singapore o.O I went to the USA in 2008 instead, D.C Boston, NY, SanFran, Cali... Somewhat I forgot my EU dream list. In SGP, I met amazing people, friends who made me wanna change my plan: So now there are Medan, Jakarta, Bali - Manila on my list. Still, best friends come 1st, after I made it to Chiangmai for Ruam, I am looking forward to Tokyo for my Ferina. 

There has never been a "definite" list... I meet new people, I want to visit them, so I guess, it's now all about the people I love. For this moment, if you ask. Here is mine: Tokyo for Fer, Prague for Iva, Paris for Nemo and Moscow with my mom, before Turin ;) Italy 

Wherever I am, I know the end point to this dream list. There is always Hanoi, always and forever Hanoi. That's where my heart belongs
Apr 20, 2010 06:13:52 AM EDT

Q:starbucks don't sell coffee, they sell stuff that looks like coffee, but tastes like cats p*ss.
lol... there are actually people who love love love and miss miss miss Starbucks. I am good with Vietnamese authentic coffee, I am great with sitting on the pavements somewhere in the street drinking Vietnamese coffee - with all the dust and polluted air - like I CARE.

I do enjoy Starbucks coffee - but I won't think of it as coffee, more like a sweet drink, u know, like milk tea, milk shake??? to satisfy my thirst. Starbucks really really does no good in keeping me alert @.@ still I njoy it, man, don't be so harsh

It's all about personal taste/preference
Apr 20, 2010 06:00:39 AM EDT

Q: You like Vespa because it's trendy? Don't you think it's too much work?
I must be a complete idiot to go for a Vespa just for the trend -.-" If so, I would go for SH (as if my parents can afford) or LX (for really pretty and easy life). My ancient Vespa cost 1/6 as much, breaks down 6 times as often, need 6 times as much "care"

... it's not about trend, it's an addiction, it's love. Yes, I know it's too much work, but you don't send your grandparents to Old Folk Home because they get sick too often here and there, too slow for your youthful self, I don't change my Vespa because it's not at its best.

My new Vespa has NOT broken down for the 2nd time since Feb. She's doing great, looking fab. I lovin' her.
Apr 20, 2010 05:56:03 AM EDT

Q: I read your blog <333333 and i loveeeeeeeeeee it, how can you write so beautifuuuul?
@.@ I am so flattered, and thank YOU so much for reading it - not to mention loving it. I am very blessed to have my mother, who read me love poems instead of lullaby; blessed to be taught literature and poetry by Mrs. Ho The Tan, when I was merely 7. In 2006, I met Ms. Lin, my wonderful LIT teacher in Innova who salvaged not only my grade but also my love for writing.

I do read a lot since young, thx to my parents who are book-lovers. To be honest, I am an impulsive writer - I get inspiration out of no where - like eating the leftover food from yesterday dinner alone, like sitting on a bus watching people...

However, all things said, write from your heart is the most important thing. Nothing else can be more meaningful and beautiful than something from the heart.

Thx so much and I hope you will continue to enjoy my personal blog 107b, co-author blogs: Travelogue (with 2 best friends Ruam and Ferina - travelling experience) and 24501faith (with dearest Cassie: Iva - fictions DBSK related)
Apr 18, 2010 05:30:11 PM EDT



Q: will you come back to SGP for uni?
no ^^ I promised my classmates and school mates in Singapore that I won't even apply - to lessen their competition lol. And I did keep my words. I am sure they will get the spots even if I sign up for such uni competition. Innova Students are really cool and they deserve all the best.

As for me, I appreciate 4 years in Singapore. I worked my butt off in every aspect I could, and forgo some of my dreams. I am 21 now, not in Uni yet, no bf - not that i am complaining haha, not been to all the countries in my wishlist. It isn't too late. I want to spend my uni time to "live for my life"

I guess my college/uni decision will soon come out as a shock/ a joke for many people. But I am sure I owe NO one any explanation. At the end of the day, it's really MY happiness that counts. If there is someone I feel like doing it for, it's myself.

Thx God, I have wonderful parents who support me all the way.
Apr 18, 2010 05:06:48 PM EDT

Q: chi oiiii, em yeu chi <3
Cam on em, nhung ma em la ai the? ^.^
Apr 18, 2010 04:48:44 PM EDT

Q: r u related too justin beiber if soo thats soo cool
Hey there, ^^ , I am really not related to him. I don't listen to him frequently, but he's not some artist whom I would immediately switch channel if he's on air. Admire him for such success at young age, and such cheerful stage presence. Really refreshing, indeed. It's a pity, I am not "soo cool" :(
Apr 18, 2010 02:47:50 AM EDT

Q: If DBSK does not come back ever, who's your next in line?
"You said "move on"...where do I go?" There isn't a next in line for DBSK. I do listen to almost all the other K-pop artists in the entertainment industry at the moment, from legendary singers like Shin Seung Hun to idols like KARA? D-NA? I do have special interest in FT Island, Epik High, Davichi.

However: "listen to" is one thing and become a "fan" is another thing. I am iCassiopeia of DBSK,
only DBSk and no one else.
Apr 17, 2010 06:24:17 AM EDT


Saturday, April 17, 2010

Left-over

The leftover
from yesterday dinner...
once, the main course
now what? the leftover
unwanted, undesired.


The left over from yesterday
You don't feel like finishing it
up
Neither are you able to throw it
away
So here it stays


Frozen, in that corner of your abandoned fridge,
Frozen to every fiber of its being, sick to the core
Frozen...


Till some morning
Woken up in your hangover
amazed: one sock in your vomited mess
- of some other "main courses" you couldn't remember


starved!
you will find me then
you will find me then
but I won't be like the
leftover
waiting tirelessly in that corner of the fridge
cold, frozen, dried up
just to warm up your empty stomach today






Hanoi, "winter" in the middle of spring
2010
-sick I am-

Society.me_01

My-Linh.Phan




Q: what is the most special thing about you that you would want ppl to know about?
I stand by my best friends no matter what. Even if she does something wrong/ stupid/silly/unacceptable in my definition of it, I will not leave her struggling in her own misery. It does not mean, I would not tell her straight up: "I think this isn't right". I would, so at least she can make up her mind in a more rationale manner. However, if she insists on her way, I will support her.Who knows, she may find her happiness.

You may ask me, why would I do that? ummm... Simple answer, I was once left alone crying my eyes out for months, I was once left alone to go against all odds by my very dear "best friends"... It takes me years to see who are my truest, most truth-worthy people. Now that I know who they are,  I love them with my whole heart. That's why, I would NEVER ever want them to experience such horror and loneliness I did.

Seriously, if your friends are wrong, so what? Will u be happy when u see them in despair, and laugh: "I told you before?" If MY best friends fall, I would love to be there and pick them up - just like what they did when I was kissing the ground.

... about friendship, that's something I want people to know. But this is really ONLY for best friends
:) - and I am sure they know very well who they are
Apr 17, 2010 03:36:02 AM EDT

Q: tell me one thing very few people know about u
I can really live without my phone, especially now that I am in Vietnam. I had to beg my dad to stop asking me to use it a few time, but he didn't buy it.So I turn on my phone and pray that no one contact me, eps. now when I lost my voice. If you want to find me, fb is a much better option, lol... Do you know this about me yet?
Apr 17, 2010 03:15:56 AM EDT

Q: Do you think you will forgive a cheater and give him another chance?
4 year ago I will say: "DEPEND" on the situations/ person. However people change, don't we? My answer now and ever on is final: "NO". You may think "it's his first time,common, give him a chance, he's sorry enough" but I tell you this: once a cheater always a cheater. A guy who doesn't have the balls to fight his temptation is surely a dude with no principles at all. It's in his blood, if you still want to forgive, go ahead. You are kissing a frog, hoping he will become a prince, but guess what? there is only one prince among countless frogs out there. So, you do the math...
Apr 15, 2010 03:46:32 PM EDT

Q: forgive or forget?
neither. When I do not think about something anymore, it does not mean I forgive or forget. I may let things slide, and move on. But as much as I treasure kindness, though in the form of subtle gesture, I remember the cause of my scars as well.
Apr 15, 2010 03:35:48 PM EDT

Q: Do you plan on expanding your family?
I don't quite understand your question explicitly, thus it's hard for me to answer it exactly the way you wish to know. So I will go along with my vague guesses, pardon me - if they don't satisfy you, please come back and ask me again more directly.

However, the answer is NO in all the situations I could think of.

For me, I don't plan on expanding my family - if you wonder when I am getting married. Right now I am 21. Right now I am ambitious and selfish - I am not ready to commit myself into a relationship not to mention marriage. Despite the fact that the fortune teller reminds me this is a VERY good year for 89 born to get married, and many of my friends have already sealed the deal. I am not one of them.Not till I am more mature and learn to be selfless. - less importantly, not till I meet the one

For my parents - if you wonder about "adoption". For them, all my cousins are their children, not just Angie. They also have Alex, Ruam, em Ngong, and I would not dare to forget "Fatty". . . My parents love children, young people, thus I am sure, they are ever willing to "expand" their love and guidance. However, this is FAMILY we are talking about, there is no way we can "plan" ahead.

We believe in fate. If someone is destined to join us in this FAMILY, he/she will sure come and we
will welcome him/her. However, there is no way we can plan it and there is no way we desire to do
so.
Apr 14, 2010 07:11:50 AM EDT

Q: if there is one boy say that he love u..but u just know him..how? would u accept him?
No, I wouldn't. It was too despicable a lie to tell someone you love him when you don't feel breathless not having you by your side (not to mention I just know him -.-" ). I would never commit such crime - robbing him the truth. Everyone deserves true love i.e. love and be loved in return, so does he - but more importantly, so DO I. In another words, I am really NOT that desperate to have a boyfriend, so much so I have to go such extend to cheat on my own heart.
Apr 12, 2010 10:35:58 AM EDT

Q: dinda said : sepertinya dia bukan sahabatku lagi, melainkan hanya sebatas teman biasa :(
translated by my dearest Nezz: "He's not my best friend anymore, he's just my friend" - sorry to hear so. It kinda sucks to see such great bond broken, but guess what, if he's truly your best friend, you 2 will find ur way back, if not - corny it is, it was meant to be in the past, we don't deny it BUT it's really not mean to be now anymore, or in the future. So, Cheer up, ok? :)
Apr 10, 2010 02:47:02 PM EDT

Q: i love my family..you?
I do, and I love them "more than the air I breath". I guess I know who you are, after all, I am very glad you realize it, feel that way. Love and care about them, ok? They may not love you the way you want them to, but I am very very sure, they love you with all that they have.
Apr 10, 2010 08:28:08 AM EDT

Q: how long are you willing to wait for DBSK?
as long as Cassiopeia is still shining gorgeously and faithfully in the sky, I will be rooting for their
victorious and heartwarming comeback
Apr 09, 2010 04:10:39 PM EDT

Q: Do you prefer mornings or nights?
nights - "in darkness the eyes begin to see" - I saw my true friends, and I saw the pretenders. I thank the nights.
Apr 09, 2010 12:26:17 PM EDT

Q: Have you decided which college you'd be going to this fall? And if the answer is yes, what college is that?
No, I have not. But I am turning down Boston College for sure - doesn't it feel good to be the one who can "reject" or "accept"? Once I decide, I will inform everyone who cares, sincerely cares
Apr 09, 2010 12:23:31 PM EDT

Q: what are you doing in Vietnam now?
I finally have the time to pick up skills I lack. For instance, I am re-learning Italian and piano and start fresh with another language. I also spend most of my time with my parents and extended family. I quit my job recently to concentrate on my study, but soon enough, I will head back to work again
Apr 09, 2010 12:22:15 PM EDT

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The difference_02 "Just"

GLEE:

Emma Pillsbury stood up, turned around and walked off in her beautiful wedding gown

Will Schuester (held her hand, trying to stop her): Emma, I just left my wife
Emma (stopped midway, turned to look at Will deep in his eyes): Yes, Will, you just left your wife.


*****


I always find Lit amazing how it peals off layers and layers of truth and let me see the naked, barren, most honest emotion the writer/speaker tries to protect himself with this clumsy cover. I also find "it" amazing how one word - that full mouth of air breath into life such vast, sky-earth gap between two opposing intentions


Today, the story of just


His "just" demands her understanding, sympathy. His "justemphasizes on his short-term, current open-raw wound  heartbreak. Look, he only had the strength to break away from an empty marriage. Look, why couldn't she see his effort? Someone his grunt marks a hint of triumphant - I did it, maybe, but maybe not... for you


but hers


But dear, her "just" said it all: "you just left your wife." he "just" while he should, should, should really have done it decades ago. She waited and waited and waited for him to realize his decaying marriage needs to be banished. Her "justdepicts the final drop of tears that trigger the outpour of her bottled up emotion - it wasn't short term, it wasn't a moment of despair... It was years, and years of exhaustion. Yes, now he did, yes now he finally realized it... but "you just left your wife." she said and she knows that was not enough... it was too late and not enough


*****
"We don't "JUST"" - mark my words, none of us really "just" do something

Saturday, April 10, 2010

rightly wrong

You exhale your favorite line
full of pretentious confidence
"You are 
all 
wrong
...
ALL 
WRONG!"

Insecurely, you point your finger
(the beautiful finger I love)
then burst in your nervous laughter
(the trembling voice that shatters my nerve)
"I can't be wrong...
I can't, I just can't"


And I smile.
brush things aside
"I guess, you are right, I may be wrong
maybe
I am all wrong"

loving you I notice not,
left or right - I care for only your way
night or day - as long as, by my side, you stay.

But one thing I know for sure
I am only all wrong
for loving you this much

***

I don't mind being all wrong
so that you can be all right.


so that you can be alright. 




as long as you are
alright